Of Midgets and Swiss Cheese
by Mori Lasse
Summary: The Midgets and Great Charas from stuff show down! Chapter 5 is up R&R!
1. The Beginning of the Beginning

Disclaimer: I don't own LoD or any other copyrighted material.  
  
WARNING - Beware the rabid midgets with beards, they have a conspiracy to take over the world with toothpicks and Swiss cheese.  
  
(The Madness Begins)  
  
Ryx: Mountain Dew.  
  
Dr. Getz: Get this man some MD stat!  
  
Inu-yasha: (walks in dressed in a tuxedo and holding a silver platter with two cans of the holy beverage on it) Take all ready!  
  
Ryx: (chugs both cans before anyone else can get them) Shut up or I will bring in Kagome.  
  
Inu-yasha: Fine.  
  
Dr. Getz: I thought this was an LoD fic.  
  
Ryx: It is but I have to prepare myself. Making a whole new world for all of your favorite characters from the greatest shows and games ever made is a hard thing!  
  
Dr. Getz: Oh  
  
[AN- I know its lame but I have writers block already, need a sugar high and dynamite to combat said block]  
  
Ryx: (waving hands around like a crazy person) Oh Almighty Uga Uga and the Great Chimichanga, lords of Mountain Dew. Hear my wish and make my world!  
  
Voice from beyond: Shut up already! We hear ya and we are working on it, just give us a second, we need some help from Reorx and his forge to make it.  
  
Dr. Getz: uh-oh.  
  
Depcano: (walks in from the kitchen holding a can of MD:Code Red) Alrighty then lets go to Endiness/Feudal Japan/Mineral Town/Spirit World and other places I cannot remember right now!  
  
[AN - for those of you who are slower then a herd of stampeding turtles in peanut butter, the world will be referred to as EFJMTSWAOPICRRN from now on]  
  
There is a puff of greenish-pinkish-yellowish-bluish smoke and a popping sound and everyone in the room disappears.  
  
[AN - Pretty lame I know, but I will make it better next time, and I may even bring in the LoD cast! Expect more madness]  
  
See ya next time space cowboy! 


	2. The End of The Beginning

Disclaimer - Why do I do this? Does anyone NOT know that I do not own any of the copyrighted material in this fic?  
  
[AN - In my opinion the last chapter was lame, but that is my humor, so that is how my stories will be]  
  
[Another AN - the characters Ryx, Dr. Getz, and Depcano are mine, as well as any of there special stuff]  
  
[Another Another AN - Striker check your fics I reviewed every chap for the Humors. Freefall, Mountain Dew is all of ours *ducks* please don't hurt me]  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The End of the Beginning  
  
Midget with a beard: Hello and welcome to EFJMTSWAOPICRRN the land of people, I would give you a tour but I must go buy some swiss cheese and tooth picks. *runs off as only midgets can*  
  
Ryx: I KNEW IT THE BOB-DAMNED MIDGETS ARE PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH SWISS CHEESE AND TOOTHPICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!! *runs around in circles waving his arms*  
  
Dr. Getz: Oooook.  
  
Depcano: Well I am off for now, I have only been here to make the scene change work better! *walks away and just disappears*  
  
Ryx: Quickly we must gather EFJMTSWAOPICRRN's greatest heroes to help defeat the evil Midgets!!!  
  
Dr. Getz: Well we already have Inu-yasha, who else should we get?  
  
Inu-yasha: *beating a demon's head into a bloody pulp* What makes you think I am going to help you? Stupid author.  
  
Ryx: You will help because if you do not I will attack you with my Magical Whisk of Glomping. And it gives me a +abajillion boost to my strength against half-demons.  
  
Inu-yasha: Your brain must be broken.  
  
Dr. Getz: What was your first clue?  
  
Ryx: *gets an anime look of anger* .  
  
Inu-yasha: OK OK FINE I WILL HELP YOU!  
  
Ryx: *chugs a Mountain Dew* Ok.we need to find Lavitz' body so we can bring him back.  
  
Random Person: Why don't you just use author magic?  
  
Ryx: Because I have a great idea for a scene with Lavitz but it won't work if I just snap my fingers and revive him.  
  
Inu-yasha: Ok lets go then!  
  
Some time later  
  
Ryx: Ok this looks like Bale so his body should be around here somewhere. I am gonna AM a shard of the Shikon Jewel in his body so you can find it easily Inu-yasha. *chugs another can of Mountain Dew*  
  
Inu-yasha: Your standing on his grave.  
  
Ryx: BOB@^&(_ING^%$#IT!!  
  
Dr. Getz: *after Ryx moves off to the side digs up Lavitz' body and places it in the Mystical Bag of CarryingStuffness* All done lets go.  
  
Ryx: Wait! First we need to find Shana *eye twitches and a vien pops out on his forehead*  
  
Dr. Getz: Damn.  
  
Space Monkey: Ooh?  
  
Shana: Oh it's a monkey!  
  
Inu-yasha: That was a tad bit convienient.  
  
Ryx: Saves time and such. Now we need a method of mayhe..I mean transportation. Hmmm what should we use?  
  
Random Person #2: How about the PAPoD?  
  
Dr. Getz: Say what?  
  
Ryx: The Perfect Adventurer's Pinto of Decapitation!! Perfect for adventuring parties with a lot of people.  
  
[AN - the PAPoD is like an RV only made like a Pinto]  
  
Shana: What's decapidation?  
  
Inu-yasha: Its decapitation. DEE-CAP-IT-STATION(minus the S). And its when you cut someone head off.  
  
Ryx: Exactly! *snaps fingers and the PAPoD appears in a flash of purple light [AN - imagine the color of a "black" light]* Now lets get this FF on the road!  
  
Shana: Only if I don't have to drive.  
  
Ryx: Fine, just a sec and I will get someone who will drive for us. *snaps fingers again and Lloyd pops out of nowhere* Lloyd drive the PAPoD.  
  
Lloyd: No way, I might break a nail. *whips out the Moon Mirror and admires himself his reflection*  
  
Ryx: Fine, if Lloyd won't drive I know someone who will but it will be a bumpy ride. *snaps fingers and Doel pops out of nowhere also*  
  
Doel: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.What am I doing here?  
  
Ryx: We need you to drive the PAPoD because I am to lazy, Inu-yasha is to good to drive, Shana is a wuss, Lavitz is still dead, and Lloyd is a stupid pretty boy.  
  
Doel: Wheedog I gonna kill some cattle! [AN - I know this is Freefalls idea but I am too lazy to make up another passtime of his]  
  
That's the end of Chapter 2. Next time I will have my scene for Lavitz played out and the plot may come together more.  
  
See Ya Next Time Space Cowboy! 


	3. The Beginning of The Middle

Disclaimer - Insert same old #$%^ here.  
  
[AN - HCiT? WTF Striker]  
  
Ryx: I also now control more characters from stoof. They are - Blue Eyes White Dragon and Red Eyes Black Dragon from Yu-Gi-Oh, Vivi from FFIX, and Kuwabara from YuYu Hakusho! Bow to me your ruler!  
  
BEWD: RRROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!  
  
REBD: Burp *begins picking teeth with a giant toothpick, or the weapon that the original Violet Dragoon used in Rebirth of a Legend by Striker.*  
  
Vivi: Oh my.  
  
Kuwabara: Shut up alla you!  
  
Ryx: Ok then.on with the story.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
The Beginning of the Middle  
  
Our somewhat intrepid band of heroes were last seen outside of Bale digging up Lavitz' body. What could they be plotting?  
  
Doel: Everyone get into the bob-be-damned PAPoD so we can get going.  
  
All nervously get into the vehicle except for Lavitz who is just kinda dragged in.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * After everyone gets situated. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Doel: *Driving like a madman towards the nearest herd of cows* Now where exactly are we going?  
  
Ryx: *Playing Harvest Moon: BTN on his PS2* We need to just drive west for about 30 minutes and we will be there.  
  
Doel: OOOOHH Right through a pasture, but it will take less than half an hour.  
  
Ryx: Nope, my Author Magic makes it take 30 minutes exactly from the first time I say how long!  
  
Doel: So we have about 28 minutes and 46.576 seconds until we are there. That's a lot of cattle.  
  
Ryx: Yep.  
  
28.46576 minutes later.  
  
Dr. Getz: No way this couldn't be!  
  
Ryx: It is. Frankensteins castle but with the modifications you thought of and a few touches of modern technology.  
  
Doel: *Dragging the body bag containing Lavitz from the PAPoD* Where do you want the stiff? Shana: *Following Inu-yasha* Oh Lavitz, if I wasn't such a total wuss I would revive you with my dragoon magic but that would make sense.  
  
Inu-yasha: *Trying to get Shana to leave him alone* Why is she following me?  
  
Depcano: *Popping into existence just to say this one line* Because when Dart is not around she follows anything that is red.  
  
Ryx: Enough lollygaging! Let's get this done with, the more time we waste the more prepared the Midgets get.  
  
Dr. Getz: Ok but what are we.ok I get it.  
  
Ryx: Good Job! *Snaps his fingers and they are all suddenly inside the castle and Lavitz' body is on a table. *  
  
Insert scenes from Frankenstein here.just do the char replacing on your own.  
  
A short while later.  
  
Ryx: HE'S ALIVE! ALIVE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!  
  
Lavitz: *Sits up* Shut up will ya?  
  
Ryx: Sure why not.  
  
****After Ryx Explains the Midgets, beards, toothpick, and swiss cheese conspiracy****  
  
Lavitz: Ok..  
  
Ryx: Well lets get going!  
  
End Of Chapter 3  
  
[AN - Pretty strange I know, but hey I don't care.]  
  
Next time - More appearances and a showdown with some midgets!  
  
See Ya Next Time Space Cowboy! 


	4. The Middle of The Middle

Disclaimer - The Midgets are coming and so are the lawyers.  
  
[AN - Weedog I am gonna really make this thing strange in the next few chapters!]  
  
Chapter 4  
  
The Middle of the Middle  
  
Lavitz: So let me get this straight, the Midgets are planning on taking over the world by hiding mind control devises in swiss cheese and handing the cheese out as free samples with toothpicks in them, and then they will pull the remotes for these devises out of their beards and they will have control over everyone who ate the cheese?  
  
Ryx: Basically.  
  
Lavitz: Well lets stop them.  
  
Ryx: Ok, just let me get the gang rounded up.  
  
Lavitz: -_-  
  
Ryx: *snaps fingers*  
  
Out of nowhere Kongol, BEWD, REBD, Vivi, and Kuwabara pop into existence.  
  
Kongol: Kongol smash!!!  
  
BEWD & REBD: ROAR!!!  
  
Vivi: Eeek!  
  
Kuwabara: .  
  
Ryx: Alright! Let's go! *snap*  
  
They all suddenly appear on the slopes of Misty Mountain (the one from Lord of the Rings)  
  
Vivi: Brrrrrrrr..  
  
Kuwabara: Damn it's cold!  
  
Ryx: SSHHHHHH! Do you hear that?  
  
Everyone is quiet.  
  
Voices coming from the distance: Hi-Ho! Hi-Ho! Off to war we go, with razor blades and hand grenades, Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho! (to the tune of Hi-Ho from the snow white and seven dwarfs.)  
  
Inu-yasha: Wow that is a cheap rip off.  
  
Dr. Getz: Everyone form up! Roll call!!  
  
Everyone lines up military style.  
  
Dr. Getz: Blue Eyes White Dragon.  
  
BEWD: Roar  
  
Dr. Getz: Red Eyes Black Dragon.  
  
REBD: Roar  
  
Dr. Getz: Kuwabara.  
  
Kuwabara: Yo.  
  
Dr. Getz: Kurama.  
  
Kurama: *pops into existance* Here.  
  
Dr. Getz: Inu-yasha.  
  
Inu-yasha: Whaddawant?  
  
Dr. Getz: Vivi Orunitia.  
  
Vivi: Yes?  
  
Dr. Getz: Lavitz Slambert.  
  
Lavitz: Here!  
  
Dr. Getz: Kongol.  
  
Kongol: Smash!  
  
Dr. Getz: Spike Spiegal.  
  
Spike: *pops into existance with his red ship* WHAT?  
  
Dr. Getz: Jet Black.  
  
Jet: *pops into existance with the Bebop* Hey.  
  
Dr. Getz: Ein.  
  
Ein: *jumps out of the Bebop* Yip.  
  
Dr. Getz: Goku.  
  
Goku: *pops in also* Yeah?  
  
Dr. Getz: We are all ready Ryx.  
  
Ryx: Ok just let me do something really quick. *pulls some Yu-Gi-Oh cards out of his pocket*  
  
All but Ryx: ?  
  
Ryx: Just watch. *puts some cards down* I summon two more Blue Eyes and two more Red Eyes. *The newly summoned monsters are next to the originals* And now I play Polymerization on my 3 Blue Eyes, and another one on my 3 Red Eyes.  
  
The Blue Eyes start to twist together as do the Red Eyes.  
  
There is a loud popping sound.  
  
Ryx: Behold the Ultimate Blue Eyes White Dragon and the Ultimate Red Eyes Black Dragon! But that's not all! *puts down another card*  
  
All but Ryx: What now?  
  
Ryx: I play Polimerization on my Ultimate Blue Eyes and my Ultimate Red Eyes!  
  
Everyone but Ryx: I didn't know you could do that.  
  
Ryx: *after the pop of Polymerization is done* You can and now I present to you the Supreme Purple Eyes Grey Dragon!!  
  
Everyone but Ryx: *little anime bubble of surprise then they all fall anime style*  
  
The midgets: Hi-Ho! Hi-Ho! Off to war we go, with razor blades and hand grenades, Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho! (they are within view now)  
  
Ryx: Supreme Purple Eyes Grey Dragon.  
  
End of chapter 3  
  
[AN - Whee this is fun. Anyone like my SPEGD?]  
  
Next Time - The Fight!!!  
  
See Ya Next Time Space Cowboy! 


	5. The End of The Middle

Disclaimer - ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT I'LL ADMIT IT!! I DON'T OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS!! Well, except for the ones that I made!  
  
[AN - Oooo this is now my longest story! And I have two new additions to my army of minions, Graboids and Burt Gomer, both from Tremors 1 - 3]  
  
Ryx: Supreme Purple Eyes Grey Dragon, Super Kiorendo Attack!!  
  
SPEGD: *Steps on all of the midgets*  
  
All but Ryx and SPEGD: umm..ok.  
  
Dr. Getz: Well that was a tad bit anti-climactic.  
  
Ryx: It's not over yet.  
  
Inu-yasha: What do you mean?  
  
Ryx: Is it that hard to understand that the war isn't over?  
  
Inu-yasha: I guess not.  
  
As soon as Inu-yasha is done talking a man walks up from behind where the midgets were.  
  
Lavitz: Who the hell are you?  
  
????: I am the leader of the Midget Army.  
  
Ryx: Wha? How? Midgets hate people of normal size or larger.  
  
????: Oh it was easy to trick them, I told them I was the legendary Giant Midget (all rights reserved!)  
  
Ryx: I know who you are know! You are none other than.um.oohh.gimme a second.  
  
All but Ryx: *little anime sweat drops appear*  
  
????: I am Greham.  
  
Ryx: Oh yeah, that's it.  
  
Greham: But you will never stop me for I will just kill you all know. *looks at the gathered warriors*  
  
Ryx: Sure you will.  
  
All of a sudden a portion of the ground raises up a bit and rushes at Greham. As it comes towards him Greham just stares at it.  
  
Ryx: Well this should be entertaining, just got these guys.  
  
Greham: What are they?  
  
Ryx: Don't you worry about it. You won't be alive long enough to worry about it.  
  
All of a sudden a Graboid pops out of the ground right beneath Greham and swallows him in one bite.  
  
Dr. Getz: Ok now it is anti-climactic.  
  
Ryx: Yeah that was.  
  
Suddenly most of the gathered warriors disappear. All that is left is Dr. Getz, Ryx, Lavitz, Goku, Burt Gomer, and Spike and Doel.  
  
Ryx: What in the hell?  
  
Dr. Getz: I think that by killing a character from a game with a real world- ish creature you have caused a rip in the Real-Imaginary Continuim.  
  
Ryx: That's bad isn't it?  
  
Dr. Getz: Yep, in about 45 seconds we will feel the effects of it.  
  
45 seconds later  
  
KKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Drew Carey: Good evening everyone, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway? Tonight's stars, Mountain Dew Maniac! Ryx! Beat the shit outa every bad guy to attack earth! Goku! Greatest character ever that got killed really fast! Lavitz Slambert! And, blew up an oil refinery with a ton of C4, Burt Gomer! Hello, I'm Drew Carey, come on down, let's have some fun!  
  
Drew: Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, the show where every thing is made up and the points don't matter, that's right, the points are just like Bill Clinton giving a speech! If you haven't seen the show, what happens is these four performers are going to do little skits made up completely off the top of their heads, and I'm going to give them fake points, just to keep the show together. At the end of the show, I pick a winner, and they get to do a little something special with me (crowd ohs). And the loser just sits there with a look of shock on their face.  
  
Ryx: Ok now I'm scared.  
  
Drew: With that said lets get right into our first game. Party Quirks! This is for all four of you, and if you don't know how this works Ryx will be hosting a party and the others will be guests but they will have a role to play and Ryx has to figure them out. So whenever your ready, start.  
  
Ryx: Got the Mountain Dew locker hidden, and the Mountain W (explained at end) ready.  
  
*Ding Dong*  
  
Ryx: Oh good someone's here. *answers door*  
  
Goku: (Is a schitzophrenic.) Hey hows it goin? Good, well I'm gonna change that.  
  
Ryx: Ok.  
  
*Ding Dong*  
  
Ryx: Phew wonder who else is here. *answers door*  
  
Lavitz: (Is a king who swallowed a thesaurus and a dictionary as a kid giving a speech) Friends, Serdians, Peasants, lend me your ears. Not literally though because that would be physically impossible and not appealing.  
  
Ryx: Ok Albert.  
  
Drew: Right, that's one down. *rings the bell*  
  
Ryx: Who's next?  
  
Burt: (Is a pyromaniac that hasn't burned anything in weeks) Hey how ya doin? Got any matches?  
  
Ryx: Dart?  
  
Drew: Close.  
  
Goku: Why is he here? I am so sorry I didn't mean that. Yes I did.  
  
Ryx: Why are you arguing with yourself?  
  
Drew: No.  
  
Burt: *acts like he is lighting things on fire* I needed that.  
  
Ryx: Burt give me the lighter, just because you haven't gotten to burn anything in weeks doesn't mean you get to destroy my house you pyro.  
  
Drew: Right.  
  
Ryx: And Goku must be a schitzo.  
  
Drew: Good job. And I will give Burt 34 points, and Lavitz 4,343,511,667,345,161 for being so obvious.  
  
Drew: Everyone stay right where you are we'll be right back.  
  
[AN - That's all for now.]  
  
Next Time: More adventures  
  
See Ya Next Time Space Cowboy! 


End file.
